YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
