I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
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