It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
