i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
