wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
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