hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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