just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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