The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
If I die, sorry about rent.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
