Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
