may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
