Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
My vagina is officially offended.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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