Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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