I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
