She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
