You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
