ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Randomize
