I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I could fuck to npr.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
