Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
