this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Randomize
