I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
