1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
