do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I didn't notice because vodka
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
