whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Randomize
