Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
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