I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Dear god my vagina.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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