I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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