Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
It's like God shit irony all over that family
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
