you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Randomize
