Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
