So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Randomize
