I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I have surprise drugs for everyone
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize
