I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
The power of my boobs compel you
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
