I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
