All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
