New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
