I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
