And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Randomize
