and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
