I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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