break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
