he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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