just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
