if you like me you must not know who I am
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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