I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Randomize
