I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Randomize
