I can tuck mytits in my pants
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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