Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
