Do vagina's smell?
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
