I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
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