I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
