when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Randomize
